Newcastle’s astonishing comeback against Arsenal on Saturday, coupled with Man U’s overdue defeat at of-all-places Wolves, must have shredded a lot of certain dockets on what was a record-breaking afternoon goals-wise for the English Premier League.

Newcastle, for all the opprobrium they attract, are undeniably terrific entertainment. Whatever about fog, there’s never a dull moment on the Tyne. Indeed, laugh of the week must go to manager Alan Pardew who said they didn’t force Andy Carroll onto a helicopter bound for Liverpool on deadline day. A helicopter belonging to none other than Mike ‘Make it £35m’ Ashley.